How much does the ability to build quick rapport impact success in sales and business? Here‘s a hint: a lot more than you probably think.
A famous study by Gerald Zaltman at Harvard Business School found that 95% of our purchase decision making happens in the subconscious mind, driven primarily by emotional factors. Another frequently cited research statistic is that only 7% of a message is based on the actual words, while 38% comes from tone of voice and 55% from body language.
In other words, as a salesperson, your product knowledge and slick PowerPoint slides have a lot less influence on buying decisions than your ability to make a genuine emotional connection with your prospect. But for most of us, our rapport-building muscles are weak and flabby from lack of intentional practice.
That‘s why I started doing something a couple months ago that has dramatically improved my ability to spark instant connections with total strangers. I call it the "1-Minute Checkout Line Challenge."
How to Play the 1-Minute Checkout Line Challenge
The next time you‘re at the grocery store, make it your mission to create a personal connection with the cashier in the 1-2 minutes it takes to ring up and bag your items. Your goal is to get them to smile, laugh, and share something unique about themselves before you walk away.
Some signs you‘ve achieved "rapport victory":
- They make solid eye contact and seem fully engaged in the conversation
- They smile or laugh naturally at something you say
- They share a personal detail or short story
- They ask you a follow up question
- They make a point to say a genuine "Have a great day!" as you leave
I‘ve been playing this game 3-4 times per week for about two months now. My success rate when I started was probably only 10-20%. Now, I can consistently establish rapport probably 80% of the time. Grocery shopping has become a lot more fun, and my real-world rapport skills have gotten insanely sharp.
Checkout lines are the perfect practice zones because:
- The stakes are low – if you "fail", you never have to see that cashier again
- There are strict built-in time constraints, so you have to work fast
- You have to rely on purely verbal techniques since you‘re separated by the counter
- There are lots of easy environmental conversation starters (their name tag, items you‘re buying, etc.)
With those advantages in mind, here are some specific high-leverage rapport building techniques to try out in your next 1-minute checkout line challenge:
Technique #1: The Unique Compliment
Giving a sincere, unique compliment is one of the fastest ways to build emotional capital with someone. The more specific, the better. Rather than a generic "Great service!", try:
- "I love your new haircut – that style really suits you!"
- "Those rainbow sneakers are awesome. You clearly have great taste."
- "Your pin collection is really impressive. How long have you been collecting?"
In one checkout line conversation, the cashier had a cool hummingbird tattoo on her forearm. I said "Wow, your tattoo artist did an amazing job with the detailing on the wings. How many sessions did that take?"
She lit up and said "I know, right? The artist is actually my sister. She worked on it over 3 different sessions. Hurt like hell but totally worth it!"
Boom – instant rapport. A unique, specific compliment communicates that you see the person as an individual and opens the door to a real conversation.
Technique #2: The "Me Too!" Story
We like people who we perceive as similar to us. Anytime you can relate to something the other person says or does, it strengthens your connection. Some examples:
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They‘re buying a pint of Ben & Jerry‘s ice cream. You could say "I‘m obsessed with that flavor too! Have you tried it with sliced bananas? Life changing."
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They mention an upcoming 5k race. "No way, I just signed up for that same race! Maybe I‘ll see you at the starting line. Have you done it before?"
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They‘re wearing a University of Michigan sweatshirt. "I see you‘re a fellow Wolverine! What year did you graduate? I was class of ‘09 myself."
The key is to have a relevant but brief story to back up your "me too." Prove it‘s a genuine connection, not just a hollow attempt to find common ground.
Technique #3: The Humor Spike
Making someone laugh is a surefire shortcut to their good graces. Humor shows wit, creativity, and social intelligence. Even a stupid joke or goofy one-liner can work well in a checkout line situation.
If I‘m buying an unusual combination of items (hot sauce and ice cream, duct tape and condoms, etc), I‘ll say to the cashier in a very serious tone: "I promise this isn‘t as weird as it looks. Although if you see a story on the news later…no you didn‘t!" Usually gets a solid laugh.
Self-deprecating humor is especially effective at building rapport. Making a joke at your own expense communicates humility and openness. When my total comes to an oddly high amount, like $127.68, I‘ll often quip "Wow, apparently I thought my checking account needed a diet!" Playful self-mockery endears you to people.
Technique #4: Active Listening
This one is so simple yet so rare: just listen, really listen to the other person. Make steady eye contact, nod along as they speak, give little verbal acknowledgements like "Mm-hmm" and "I see."
Then prove you were paying attention by asking a relevant follow up question. If they mention their dog, ask what breed it is. If they‘re buying ingredients for lasagna, ask for the recipe. Actually listening with interest is sadly uncommon – do it consistently and you‘ll stand out.
Technique #5: The Parting Pleasantry
As you‘re grabbing your receipt and walking away, hit them with a warm parting remark. Something like:
- "Thanks for the great conversation. I‘m going to tell my friends how awesome you are!"
- "I appreciate you. Try to stay sane the rest of your shift!"
- "You just made my day a little brighter. I needed that, so thank you."
Ending on a sincere positive note is the cherry on top of a successful 1-minute rapport building interaction.
The Benefits of Speed Rapport Mastery
Why bother getting good at building rapport lightning fast? Because in today‘s attention-starved world, that‘s often all the time you get. Some examples of 1-2 minute windows that can make or break your success:
- A serendipitous elevator ride with a potential investor or major client
- Waiting backstage to do a 30-second TV interview or product demo
- A quick hallway catch-up with your boss before she runs into a meeting
- Getting introduced to a VIP at a crowded networking event or conference
- Running into an old prospect you‘ve been trying to close for months
Being able to drop into rapport-building beast mode on command in those scenarios is a legitimate professional superpower. It leads to more sales, better job opportunities, and a wider, more powerful network.
Additionally, that same emotional skill set makes you more charismatic and likeable in your personal life too. It‘s a tide that lifts all boats.
Embrace the Discomfort
Like any skill, building speed rapport takes practice. A lot of it will feel awkward and uncomfortable at first. You‘ll have some cringey crashes and burns along the way. But the more you do it, the better you‘ll get. The check out line is a perfect training ground.
As Jia Jiang, famed entrepreneur and author, once said: "Rejection is just a step on the way to acceptance." Get rejected, a lot, and eventually you‘ll start getting accepted. Embracing that discomfort is the only path to mastery.
Apply It Everywhere
Once you‘ve hit a 70-80%+ success rate in the checkout line, expand your practice. Chat up your Uber driver. Open a stranger at the dog park. Make friends with someone in the waiting room at the dentist‘s office.
Honing your skills in a variety of low-stakes settings is what will prepare you to bring the heat when the stakes are high. A real sales call with a huge potential commission on the line. A make-or-break meeting with the CEO. An interview for your dream job.
Having a tested toolkit of proven rapport building techniques ready to go will be your secret weapon. You‘ll be cool, confident, and magnetic, while your less-practiced peers fumble and falter.
The 1-Minute Checkout Line Challenge – Just Do It
You can read about rapport building techniques and tricks all day (and there are countless books and articles on the topic). But none of that matters if you don‘t actually get out there and practice in the real world.
Nothing beats live, in-field experience. Your game film is the only thing that counts. And something as simple as making a new friend at the grocery store every week adds up to massive gains over time.
So I challenge you – no, I implore you – to take on the 1-Minute Checkout Line Challenge for yourself. Commit to not just going through the self-checkout every time to avoid human interaction. Commit to seeking out those brief opportunities to forge real connections.
Do it for a month straight and watch in awe as your abilities grow exponentially. Your future rock star self will thank you. Class dismissed.